'Jazz' (1978)

With 'Jazz', Queen had arrived in the land of the Rock Gods and Immortals - not the Realm of Rhye, but tax exile. The 'Jazz' album was recorded in Mountain studio, Montreux, Switzerland and Super Bear, Berre-les-Alpes, France. The new location may have caused a change in sound and style, with the songs on the album having a very different quality to previous Queen albums. The variety, oddity, and eccentricity is still there, as is the hard rock. If you think that 'Mustapha' sounds strange these days, it did then, opening with a wailing vocal which seemed to implore the faithful to prayer before what seems to be a legion of guitars comes thundering in. The hard rock sounds more modern and much less classic, moving beyond roots. And with 'Don't Stop Me Now' we get the first inklings of the piano (later synth) driven dance that would become a central part of the bands' profile from 1980 onwards. 'Fun It' too moves in the direction of the rock/dance/funk/disco mix. It's probably wise not to comment on the video and the promotional poster that went with the Jazz album, except to issue the obligatory disclaimer and make it clear that sexism is wrong in all its forms. Like every Queen fan at school, I had my poster confiscated by my mum before I even got a chance to see it. That only served to make me more curious. The promotion brought the publicity sought but also notoriety. There are certain kinds of jokes which have an inbuilt tendency to backfire. Undaunted, Queen went at it with typical abandon, staging a bicycle race around Wimbledon stadium in England featuring sixty-five professional models in the nude. They couldn't just have half a dozen. A dozen would have been more than enough. No, they had to have sixty-five. To those who say it couldn't be done now, it wasn't that clear that it could be done then. It was 'controversial' at the time, with special effects in the editing hiding the nudity making everyone wonder what on Earth the point was. A photo from the race was used on the cover of the single and a poster of the scene was also issued with the album. I never saw any of it. Far from promoting the album, the publicity coloured its reception and has detracted from the music from the start. 'Jazz' is a much underrated album with a very distinctive feel in the Queen catalogue.  

Jazz (1978)

"Mustapha"

The song has an unaccompanied vocal opening before a thunderous heavy metal guitar comes crashing in at a moment's notice. The effect is overpowering. This track always skipped on my copy of Jazz. So I took the album round to a friend's house for him to check. The record player in the house had speakers throughout the downstairs, which could be switched off and on accordingly. This day they were all on. When the guitar came thundering in we heard a crash in the kitchen and my friend's mother shouting 'what the hell is that!!?' I think she had dropped the family's tea for that night. This is a loud and lively high-tempo rock song. As for the lyrics, it was most unusual for Western pop artists to be singing a song in which the names "Mustapha" and "Ibrahim" are repeated throughout. We thought nothing of it at the time. This was Queen after all. We all knew by now that this band was 'different,' and different in so many curious ways, all of them very entertaining. An incredibly lively and curious opening.

"Fat Bottomed Girls"

What can I say? Or, rather, what should I 'plead'? Guilty, probably. Even I knew, at the tender age of thirteen, that there was something decidedly dubious and most probably illicit about this song at the time it was released, (or should I say unleashed?) I watched Queen perform it on Top of the Pops. I have memories of Freddie Mercury strutting around in black leather pants and braces, singing about all manner of salacious things and happenings. My mother was watching too. 'There has to be something wrong with you to get on these days,' she said, as she frowned at the television. I remember thinking, 'I rather like this.' But I thought it best not to offer argument, lest the channel be switched in the doomed attempt to maintain decency. Playing safe, I'd class the song in the category of honest, if tasteless, vulgarity. Along with all the high-blown 'figaros' and 'galileos,' the band has always celebrated the enjoyment of bodily pleasures. We may rationalise in intellectual fashion. Or just went direct when it came to entertainment and amusement. There is a hedonism at the heart of the band (whether happy or hollow, I'll leave to the critics to decide). Musically, the song is bold and brash, as directly in-the-face as its lyrical content. Brian May's guitar riff is as sensually curvaceous as the flesh the song sings in praise of. I'm just less than sure that the defence of it being tongue-in-cheek quite works with riffs and words as risqué - blatantly sexist, frankly - as this. 'I'm sure even 70-year old women sing along to it,' claims Ruyter Suys of the band 'Nashville Pussy.' This may well be true (speaking from experience); I'm just less than sure that what said women think they are singing along to. I do know is that my mum came eventually to warm to its qualities, and would even send requests for it to be played on Liverpool's Radio City (the requests were always refused). It rocks, it is incredibly catchy, and it raises your eye brows as you smile. A sense of humour helps. And yet, when you think about it, Suys goes on to say, 'what a strange thing to be singing about.' Maybe only Freddie Mercury could get away with singing and performing a song like this. Stranger still is the song's popularity in the public consciousness.

The song is routinely placed highly in Queen reviews and ratings. The song used to be right up there with my most favourite Queen tracks. I tend not to be as keen on the song as I used to be, and many still are. I find its appeal rather obvious for a Queen song, now that the shock has worn off and the joke worn thin. In time, certain ladies - including family members and acquaintances - rose quite enthusiastically to what they took to be a celebration of generous female shapes, rendering the song safe as a bit of harmless fun, 'outrageously naughty' as one comments. Another of those Queen ladies comments, 'Always loved this song.. felt like it was the story of my life!!' That's how the song has been appropriated by female fans. Which begs the question as to what that story is. 'Back when people still had a sense of humour about sexuality,' another comments. 

The problem is that the song doesn't sound remotely humorous but has a definite edge to it; the sound of the music and the vocal delivery sound threatening and not joyous at all. Compare the song to the execrable 'Big Girl (You are Beautiful)' by that nth rate Mercury wannabe and copyist Mica. Mica's song is an attempt to be joyous and celebratory, mimicking what 'Fat Bottomed Girls' is taken to be, but isn't. The result is something that is predictably and perfectly naff. 'Fat Bottomed Girls' is coming from another universe entirely. The riffing is incredibly loud and aggressive, pounded out by what can only be described as Roger Taylor's war drum beat. It was that sound that attracted me in the first place. And, for all the 'fun' references to physical shape, the lyrics tell another story entirely. It is a 'lucky boy' and 'naughty nanny' song; another way of putting it is sexual abuse. Everyone heard the line and knew what it referred to. So you can make your own mind up as to whether this is a song for ladies or lads or both or neither. Somewhere along the way, people feigned deafness and the song became something other than it was, something fun. In retrospect, I can see that I was wise to keep quiet at the time, enjoying the rocking drums and guitar, and allowing the song to be sanitised as a bit of outrageous but harmless fun. But my initial instincts, at the tender age of thirteen, were spot on - the song is well-dodgy. What can I say? This band was not boring and frequently had you on edge, balancing precariously between thrill and worry. The phrase 'guilty pleasure' could have been invented for a song such as this. I must admit, I do still like it. But I have dropped it low down my list of Queen favourites in a vain attempt to preserve my meagre reputation for upholding all things decent and holy.

"Jealousy"

Warm, romantic ballad, more sinewy and less ethereal than 'Take my Breath Away.' I read that in Russia this was the A-side in a single which had 'Don't Stop Me Now' on the flip. It has the trademark Queen harmonies, but Brian's guitar sounds like a sitar and John's bass is right up in the mix, making for a most unusual sound. It's a quietly seductive pop ballad, and takes the temperature down on the album. We were in danger of over-heating by this point.

"Bicycle Race"

'Bicycle Race' and 'Fat Bottomed Girls' were a double A sided single, partners in crime. The pair deserve arrest and conviction. And I'll plead guilty to having bought the single. 'Bicycle Race' is peak Queen in that it rocks hard and is as camp as hell. It is clever and ludicrous in equal measure, with the tongue-twisting lyrics delivered in the manner of Gilbert and Sullivan. And if that doesn't put a smile in your face, then there's always the video. I think you need to be a particular - and peculiar - type of person to appreciate a song such as this, with its incredible musical and vocal dynamics, the endless up and down round and round.

I should pass in silence on the video but, taking the invitation to irresistible excess, shall take my cue from someone called Zacky Vengeance from Avenged Sevenfold (I've never heard of him or his band, either): 'It's very cool that they organised a women's nude bicycle race to promote it.' Would we do the same thing again? Brian May asks, before quickly answering 'probably not.' Roger Taylor thought it a great idea. It made the band very 'interesting' at the time. And detracted from what a great, funny, and clever song 'Bicycle Race' actually is. I would love to have this played at my funeral. 'I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike; I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride it where I like.' I have never been able to ride a bicycle, mind, but having another disastrous attempt beats being dead any day. It ain't no sin to be glad you're alive. Like the Tour de France which inspired the song's writing, catch it while it passes. People take far too much far too seriously. And the song has the greatest bell solo in rock'n'roll history in the middle. 'Get on your bikes and ride!' Queen promoting the virtues of clean and healthy living.

"If You Can't Beat Them"

Up tempo pop-rock with Brian May in his element with his guitar solo of over two minutes. I remember that the expansive outro was played by Alexis Korner when he featured Brian May on his show 'Guitar Greats' in 1982. It's a fine song that found its way into the live set, but wasn't played often. 

"Let Me Entertain You"

Vibrant, brash, loud and exciting hard rocker written by Freddie Mercury. The song exudes a sheer in-your-face assurance (threat) of a good time. This one is all about Freddie Mercury's irresistibly salacious vocals, and promises of who knows what to who knows who. More than Brian May's driving guitar lead, the song is a massive statement of intent. One of the strengths of Queen as a band is to go way over the top and know fine well that they are doing so. Freddie knows that he is being bold in an impossibly outrageous way - listen to how he pronounces the word 'good' in the promise to 'sell you some good merchandise.' It's a wind-up, and wholly self-conscious, with Freddie positively revelling in his role of salesman. This promise of a show so far over the top that the top no longer exists is as clear a statement as to what Queen are as there is. Equating performance and sexuality throughout, the song promises entertainment in all its possible forms, lights, highs, dancing, jazz, and rock and roll. And that's the whole point, surely? 

So the song kind of sums up the appeal of Queen to teenagers such as myself back in the day: a source of amusement and diversion via fantasies of an oversexed existence? That conclusion is far too pat. The band were never so dull, obvious, and predictable - the voices at the end of the song reveal what should have been obvious - the show and the spectacle are all for no more than commercial gain. This is about music for sale, something that devalues art and dehumanizes musicians. The 'entertainment' being sung about in so salaciously over the top a style is not about oversexed fantasies at all, but the commodification of art and music. The song is a knowing comment on the art versus commerce conflict that lies at the heart of pop music. The genius of Queen lies in the way that the band succeeded in holding both poles together to deliver musically intelligent pop that had wide appeal - making money without necessarily compromising art. Freddie's vocal performance is incredible in the way that it expresses the war raging within pop music, affirming both sides of the divide. You can hear this in the exaggerations, you can hear him both revelling in it but also worrying at its implications. To say that the vocal performance is 'over the top' is merely to notice the obvious at the surface level. Look past the overt promises and you hear the self-conscious awareness of the dangers of self-destruction, of ambition consuming itself, of the music being reduced to nothing more than entertainment. 

Once you understand that, you come to understand just how superficial the critics were. The critics took Queen on the simplest level, and condemned them for making dumb, loud, bombastic noise for dumb unmusical people. They missed that an important part of rock music is loud, bombastic noise, but is still good so long as it is exciting. 'Let Me Entertain You' is a great thrilling noise, something that makes it so much better than all those thoroughly boring rock songs with pretensions of being great music. But the song is so much more than that. If you look beyond the thrill of the surface, you will hear the extent to which Queen were their own best critics; they knew exactly what they were doing and where they stood in the balance to be struck between art and commerce, music and entertainment. The voices with which the song closes shatter the illusion, bringing the over-the-top show into confrontation with the backstage. The moral is: look past the show and see if there is any substance to the entertainment. 

The lyrics are sharp, full of Freddie's great rhymes, telling a story of showbiz from within the belly of the beast. And it has this fantastic loud driving guitar. The song can hold the attention for the sheer excitement of its sound, it is indeed a 'tour de force.' But it is so much more than that. It depends on whether you are able to look beyond the overt show. That's one that people will have to decide for themselves. You will hear people to this day praise Freddie Mercury as a 'great showman.' He was. He may have been the greatest showman who ever existed, certainly in rock and pop music. But that was just the overt bit, the entertaining bit. He was so much more than that. Look deeply into the entertainment and you will see great intelligence and purpose at work. But, yes, for sheer entertainment value, this song is an absolute cracker and became a staple of the live show for a few years after 1978.

"Dead on Time"

Lightning fast riffing from Brian May on guitar. The song ends with a thunderbolt, the song being recorded in a thunderstorm, and more than likely brought it on. May thought highly of the song. 'Dead on Time' 'was something I was quite pleased with, but really nobody else was. It's something which nobody ever mentions very much. Fat Bottomed Girls I thought was okay, but fairly banal. I thought people would be much more interested in Dead on Time, but it didn't really get that much airplay.' Agree. People know and love 'Fat Bottomed Girls' but Brian thought 'Dead on Time' the better song with much the greater hit potential. And he should know, seeing as he wrote both. This is a fast-paced counterpart to 'Keep Yourself Alive.' This has hit record and show-stopper written all over it. Just a killer riff. I'm surprised it was never a single, never a huge hit, and never played in concert. It may be the best track on the album.

"In Only Seven Days"

Another John Deacon song which confounds the prevailing sounds and moods of the album. It is a gentle and inconsequential little song, a pleasant song of regret, a sweet song of a short holiday romance. Deacon would later write 'One Year of Love.' Here, a decade earlier, he had written 'One Week of Love.' A sweet, sad, sentimental love song. No more, no less.

"Dreamer's Ball"

I have read that this is Brian May's tribute to Elvis, who had died the previous year. For the life of me, it sounds more like an invitation to Freddie to camp it up as only he could. But maybe the reference is to Elvis lazing his way through those inane Hollywood movies. Either way, Freddie revels in the licence the song gives him. For Freddie's vaudevillian routine, Brian gives us an old-time blues number, turning brass into guitar in a nostalgic jaunt in the manner of 'Good Company.' The effect is quite enchanting. The song is an invitation to share your reveries in a dreamscape with your imaginary friend. Brian May has a number of songs in this genre. 'All through the years in the end it appears, there was never really anyone but me,' he sang in 'Good Company.' I know he suffered from deep depression over the years. Maybe music was his escape just as it was ours. Queen did escape and entertainment well, diversion and deviation from life's harsh realities. I guess we all live in the land in make-believe. Queen have the power to keep the sad and lonely souls out there alive, in hope and in dreams, easing the pain that comes with living in the real world. Your life might be bad, but Queen are always on hand to turn your reality into opulent fantasy! It was songs like this that confirmed to me that Queen were the best band around. They could rock the house like no other, be outrageous, and score huge hit records. But I loved the quirky numbers they wrote for quirky people.

"Fun It"

Queen are getting 'with it.' It is impossible not to regard 'Fun It' with some irony, given the internal rows that would explode within the band in the early 1980s as a result of the disco/dance turn led by the Mercury-Deacon axis. Freddie's 'Don't Stop Me Now' could be offered as one intimation of what was to come, but Roger Taylor's 'Fun It' is much more the precursor of that later style (which is ironic, since Taylor loathed 'Hot Space.') It is a funk track with a heavy disco vibe. The introduction of the track is a very strong anticipation of 'Another One Bites the Dust,' so much so that it is surprising that the track is not better known and more acclaimed. It just needed more of John Deacon's bass to make the comparison crystal clear. Given Taylor's explicit objections to the later dance turn, he may not be too inclined to go back and revalue the significance of the track. So I'll do it for him - 'Fun It' is a cracking track! That it tends to be overlooked can only be explained by the fact that it is Roger Taylor on lead vocals. It would have been very interesting to have seen the reaction had Freddie sung lead instead of backing vocals. And it would have been compelling had John Deacon been more prominent, giving us a hard drum'n'bass track.

"Leaving Home Ain't Easy"

This is a gentle, wistful ballad sung by Brian May. It's a very moving song, soft and achingly beautiful, and very easily overlooked among the louder and more brash material that characterised a Queen album. This is a quality song, equally sad and glorious. It has a claim to being the best song on the album. Or another claimant, in yet another style. 

"Don't Stop Me Now"

This was probably my absolute favourite Queen track from the very first time I heard it. It was just so damned exciting, with Freddie pounding away on piano as his vocals soared into the stratosphere. I think the song contains Freddie's design for life: fun to the factor of any number you pluck out of a hat, and multiplied some more. The song is a powerful piano-driven rocker in which Brian May's guitar enters only with the soar-away solo. This is Freddie as Mr Fahrenheit, 'a sex machine ready to explode' if you please. At the age of thirteen, I was inclined to believe every word. And I'm still very much a believer. 'If you want to have a good time, just give me a call.' The song is Freddie's hymn to hedonism. Brian was fairly cool on it, seeing it as somewhat ephemeral. But it has since become the ultimate party song. Let's be blunt, the song contains multiple climaxes, until it finally sinks into happy exhaustion. Another song to be played at my funeral, then. 'Don't stop me now, I'm having a good time, I don't want to stop at all.'

"More of That Jazz"

Written and sung by Roger Taylor. I savour the irony that the band member who sings in celebration of the new turn in Queen music would become the man who would be most vocal in voicing his objections to that turn in the 80s - Roger Taylor. "More of That Jazz" is loop based, with Taylor playing most of the instruments and singing all vocals, peaking on an E5. The outro contains short clips from many of the songs featured on the album before moving back into the main song ("Dead on Time", "Bicycle Race", "Mustapha", "If You Can't Beat Them", "Fun It", and "Fat Bottomed Girls.") The song comes over like an anthem to the new Queen.